IT'S IMPORTANT WHAT YOU BELIEVE | Biblical Marriage | The Curse The Cure & Unity

Introduction: The Biblical Context

Pastor Dustin: So we're in a series about what we believe matters and in the spirit of Titus chapter 2, Jayme's going to help me teach this morning. Titus chapter 2 says that older men should teach younger men and older women... We'll teach younger women, and I thought, "Man, we're also talking about husbands and wives today, so how great would it be for the kids to hear about what husbands and wives are all about in the Bible?",

So I'm going to start out, I'm going to talk to the guys... I think there's a value in what Paul tells Titus. Titus chapter 2, Paul gives some really interesting instruction about how we disciple people and not just how we teach on a Sunday morning,. I will tell you that Jayme and I are about half a year away from being 26 years married. It hasn't always been really smooth but can I tell you that by the grace of God, we learn to work it out.

I'm not here to tell you men how to be married to your wives. I can tell you how to be married to mine and that doesn't help you. What I can give you is some wisdom on how we as husbands are supposed to behave towards our wives. What does the Bible say a husband should do or be toward his wife? And Jayme is going to do the same thing. She's going to give you some wisdom... The Bible finds us where we are... somewhere along the line towards looking like Jesus,.

Part 1: The Message for Husbands

Pastor Dustin: Father, thank you for the gift of your word. Thank you that it teaches us about all these things we need. The Bible says that you've given us all things pertaining to life and Godliness.

We're going to start in Genesis chapter 3... God made everything... And on day six, He made humans, but He made man... And He tells Adam, He says, hey, Adam, I've got a job for you... I need you to name every human or every animal,. After all this happens, there's no one to be suitable for Adam at all... So Adam, God puts Him to sleep and takes out a rib. And He takes this rib and He makes Eve... And Adam says, this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh,.

In Genesis chapter 3 after they've eaten the fruit, God pronounces judgment and a curse... To the woman, He says... "You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." That's all part of the curse. And then to the man, he said, "Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree... the ground is cursed because of you",. All of us are born into this curse... that the woman will desire to control her husband and the husband will rule over her. The failure of Adam is not just in eating the fruit, but in failing to do the things that God gave him to do.

So we're going to read quickly from Ephesians 5... "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Paul is going to tell us what that looks like... For husbands this means love your wives just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her,. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies.

There is a sense of "what about this and what about that"... And I just want to stay right in the lane of what does the Lord say... What the Bible tells us as husbands is that we should give our lives the way that Christ gave his,. And I don't mean in like some metaphorical sense... I mean literally you should die for your wife. And so that happens a little bit day by day by day.

When Jayme and I decided to have kids... we decided together that I was going to have to make enough money to make that happen. And so... I have often on always worked 60 to 80 hours a week so that Jayme could be home with the kids. I did what I had to do for my wife and children to flourish. I gave my life, my essence, my body for their flourishing. That's what the Bible says for men to do,.

It means that when things go bump in the night you wake up and go check on it. You're not a man if you tell your wife to go see what's making weird noises in the night... One of the things in my house from the time Jayme and I got married until this day, I sleep on whatever side of the bed is closest to the door because I'm not going to walk around my wife to get out and if somebody comes in I'm going to be the first one they find,.

The leadership of the husband that the Bible asks for is for us to be servants, not to be in charge, not to have our way, not to get whatever we want. Fellas listen, there's a lot of things we want in our lives that we just have to put to the side. Jayme and I got married, I didn't want to drive a Pontiac Sunfire... but it was in our price range and I had room for kids so that's what we got,.

It's your responsibility to serve well... When God comes and asks, He doesn't say, "Hey husbands, why didn't you tell your wife to go wash the dishes?" He comes and says, "Hey husbands, how are you serving your wife?",.

We got three pieces of advice when we got married. But the one that has stayed with me... In Peter, Peter says, "Husbands understand your wives." And the pastor... looks at Jayme and he says, "Jayme, Dustin's an idiot. He will never understand you if you don't teach him." And he says, "Dustin, your job is to say, I care, I don't understand. I need you to help me understand",.

It's not this goofy umbrella... "Here's Jesus. And here's the husband. And here's the wife. And here's the kids." That's so absolutely broken. There's an umbrella that's Jesus. And then the husband and wife fitted together as suitable partners are the next part. Caring and flourishing families are built underneath the husband and wife working together.

In the movie Cinderella Man... he's sitting at breakfast and he's trying to go work and they have just like a little slice of lunch meat... The father tells the daughter... "Last night I had a dream that I was at a big buffet and I ate all this food... I'm still full from my dream? And I would love for you to have this breakfast",. Did I serve well? Did I die as I should have? Did I give my life for my family, for my wife the way that God says... shows us that Jesus did for the church?.

Part 2: The Message for Wives

Jayme: Okay, well, yeah, I had a lot to say... So let's just peel the bandaid off and get to it... That's the red Genesis tree... women are going to want to rule over our men, but they're going to rule over us and that is the curse,.

Dustin and I, we've been married almost 26 years... I realized, you know, you can function dysfunctionally... You can go a long time functioning in a dysfunctional way and think to yourself, well, we're doing fine. I don't need to follow the word of God to a T because I can do it my way... but then eventually it stops working,.

I remember like in year six, we almost had a breaking point... Do you remember that time I threw a dumbbell at your head? ...It was about five pounds... and he dodged and then he said, "Can I find you something else to throw at my head?" And I was even more angry. So I didn't know how to be a submissive wife at that time,.

What we know about our condition as women, it's as old as the Adam and Eve story... It causes us to want to rule over our husband... Some things that I hear that really make me cringe, you might hear women say, "I choose me" or "I need to choose myself." Well, when you do that, you're not really choosing your family or your husband... You might hear someone say, "I am enough"... If you were enough, you wouldn't need Jesus,.

The call to us as wives in Ephesians is to submit to our own husbands as unto the Lord. Thankfully, it's not to everybody's husband, just to the one. If you're single and you're trying to look for someone, be selective, find a man who actually wants to serve and love the Lord. It's a lot easier to submit to someone who is submitted to God.

God cares about you and he loves you and one day you'll answer to God about the way you were a wife to your husband. Whether or not he did his part, did you do your part?.

First Peter, chapter three... says, "In the same way wives accept the authority of your husbands... if some of them refuse to obey God, your godly life will speak to them without words. And then they will be won over by observing your pure and reverent behavior". So you don't have to talk down to your husband like he's one of your children. You can just choose to live a right and godly life... This is clearly not saying submit to your husband when he wants you to sin, you can still choose to live it with Godly character.

Submission is pretty cut and dry. We know what it is and we like it until it kind of inconveniences us... If you've got worldly mindsets telling you right now, "Oh, this is oppressive." That's the way the world wants people to see scripture... But there's a better way and we know that Jesus came to provide a better way,.

Conclusion

Pastor Dustin: I'm going to give all you women a great secret that Jayme didn't share with you. Men are not complicated. We're very simple. Here's the secret. No man of any age wants to be pushed... If Jayme just came physically, we're different. Every man can be drawn by his wife.

I stopped going to church. I was a youth pastor for about five years, kind of had some anger at the church... And the reason that I eventually returned to church was because Jayme was faithful to go with our children. And it wasn't her nagging me, it wasn't her begging me... it wasn't her treating me badly,. I just want to suggest to you, women, that if you're frustrated that your husband acts like a child, ask yourself if you're treating him like one.

Proverbs 31 says that the man who finds a wife finds a good thing. It also says it's better to live on the corner of a rooftop than to live in the house of the contentious wife. Men, you've got to like step up even no matter what's happening. And it's good for us... Come to men's group, guys... The thing I love about men's group is watching like Joe and Rufus... tell some of the younger guys like Ian and Ryan, "Hey guy, this is how you be a man.",.

So today's lesson between Jayme and I is we've got to have godly order in the home and not disorder... Husbands, are you serving well? And listen, this doesn't mean you have to be in charge of everything, guys. I don't know what's in my bank account... Jayme does it all... I'm not talking about control. I'm talking about responsibility,.

Let's pray. Father, thank you for the gift of your word... Lord, help us to live wisely and in good character. In Jesus name, amen